Living Like Men!
by SugarHi Marauders
Summary: Harry's 1st bday is in a week, and Lily is stressed. So what does James do? He sends her away for the week and plans the party himslef. With our beloved marauders to help!It's a week of chaos,carmel, and living like men!
1. Chapter 1

Epilogue

"Elephants!" Lily Potter yelled at her husband. " We HAVE to have elephants there! It will go with the whole Circus theme!"

James rolled his eyes, clearly getting fed up with Lily.

But he tried to remain calm, and said in a rational voice, "Lils, Harry is only turning one, he will not even understand that it is his birthday, he will probably be content playing with wrapping paper and boxes like he did on Christmas."

Lily did not see the logic in this. "ONLY turning one!" she screeched. "This is a HUGE milestone in his life! I don't want him to hate us if we ruin it for him." She now looked close to tears.

James knew she was overly stressed, trying to plan Harry's birthday party and working at the same time.

"Lily, Harry is only one! He won't remember this birthday at all, and if he does, then it will be because it was the AWSOMEST party ever! WITHOUT elephants." He shuddered at the mention of elephants. As he would say "They are so big... IT'S NOT NATURAL!"

Lily had to laugh at James's expression when elephants were mentioned. " 'Awsomest?' " she chuckled. "Mister Webster would be ashamed to hear the way you slaughter the English language."

James never took Muggle Studies, so he did not get the reference to Webster Dictionaries, and only looked confused.

Lily rolled just rolled her eyes and went back to writing out invitations. She finished one and added it to the top of her pile.

"That's number 50," she sighed; "50 more to go."

_FIFTY! FIFTY! _James's mind yelled frantically.

"Lily, why don't you take this week off, and go away with Mel and Charlie? I mean we will be fine here, and I will get Moony, Pads, and Wormtail to help me finish the party, and when you come back on Saturday it will be party time!"

Lily shook her head exasperatly. "Are you on crack James? Remember last time I left you and Harry alone? I went to the gorcery! AROUND THE CORNER! And when I came back, Harry was throwing up and you didn't have eyebrows! NO!"

James put on a puppydog face.

"C'mon Lil, you are too stressed out! You are going to crack and end up in St. Mungo's psycho ward!"

Lily sighed. "Don't call it that James! Those poor people aren't psycho! But i guess you are right. As long as you have Remus around a bit more... he'll keep you out of trouble!"

James rolled his eyes and muttered. "Sure what ever! Just get packing so I can get rid of this banshee woman!"

"What was that dear?"

"Nothing Lily dearest, nothing"

Lily smiled. "Good. I thought so."

_The Next Day... Sunday_

"Remember, he eats at 11:45 sharp! He naps for an hour after that! Just don't forget to burp him! And he goes to sleep at 7:30 and Oh god I think I am forgetting something!" Lily wailed, rushing around the house, stuffing things in her suitcase.

James laughed, and stopped her. "LILY! You have everything don't worry. Aren't I his father? I know all these things. The party shall be just fine! Mel and Charlie are probably waiting for you already! Go! Get out of here!"

Lily kissed baby Harry on the cheek, and he giggled. "Ma ma go!"

Lily laughed and said, "That's right Harry, Mommy is going! And she will miss you sooo much!" She started cooing and making baby noises.

James interrupted, by kissing Lily, and telling her to go.

"Alright! I am going! Bye!" and she disapperated.

Harry shrieked with joy. He loved watching people apparate and disapparate.

James looked down at his mini replica. "I guess it's just you and me now Harry! A week of living like men!"

"Men!" Harry agreed laughing, and trying to steal James's glasses. "Men!"


	2. Mayhem Monday

**A/N: I know it took a long time to get this chapter up. Sorry, I've just been really busy... and I've had a few crises in the past few months. Well for the first time in my life... some one asked me a question in a review! So now I get to answer my reviews! Woo HOO! Oh and I would like to thank Callia for all her awesome ideas!**

_Imperfect Perfection321: You see when Lily went to the grocery, James turned on the TV that Lily had bought. He saw a show, where the main character made smores, and he decided that they looked good and he was going to make them. But to make Lily proud of him, he decided to do it the muggle way. (Lily has some muggle appliances in her house) So he took the graham crackers, the marshmallows, and the chocolate and put it all in the toaster oven. The only thing was that he messed up turning the toaster on and it exploded and burned off his eyebrows. Harry was nowhere near James at the time, he was only 8 months old and could not walk yet (so they thought), so he was in the living room. That was the day he took his first steps. He waddled very shakily into the kitchen and saw the tray of burned smores next to a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. Lets just say that earthworm, spinach, and burned smores don't go too well together. lol... hope that was good enough!_

_webling-girl05: Thank you! I pictured him being really adorable! He is kind of chubby, because some of the cutest babies are, and his green eyes are huge and he already has a puppy dog face going for him._

_Ice: Thanks so much! I hope you like this chapter!_

_livinlife like me: I am thrilled! I feel so special! You rock socks! Thanks again!_

_Christy: You can assume right! I am continuing it! There is going to be a chapter for everyday of that week... so that's 7 chapters! Yea... well James is scared of elephants because he has an irrational fear of things that are bigger than him... it's weird._

_greenbacce6: thanks, I took a while to post this, but I was busy and I've been trying to get SHERIN (my partner in crime) to come over to update our other story, but she hasn't and I've been bugging her... maybe SHE will read this and take a hint. Thanks for the review!_

_MissPadfoot101: Well, with ur encouragement I updated alot sooner than I was planning on, so thanks so much. The mess will just keep on getting bigger and bigger!_

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Harry potter, do you think I would be home on a friday night writing this? I think not... I do own Emilio and Fernando though... not like anyone else wud want them _**

**_ Mayhem Monday_**

Monday Morning came way too early for an exhausted James. Harry had kept him up all night. It didn't help that Lily had called him through the fire at 6:00 am to wake him up for work. He bustled around, trying to put his robes on right and brush his hair.

Then he heard Harry calling from his nursery. "Da da!" Harry grinned a toothy grin. (Well toothy for a baby). "Oh Shi-- I mean oh bananas!" James was learning not to swear in front of Harry, because Harry attempted to repeat everything he heard. "I forgot that you have to go with me!"

He lifted Harry up from his crib and began to ready his big boy from a day at work. After feeding him and dressing him in the shirt that Sirius bought him, which said, "Marauder in Training!" and a pair of jeans, they were ready to go.

James apparated them both to the Ministry of Magic, much to the dislike of Harry. He loved watching people apparate, but hated side-along apparation himself.

After calming Harry down and getting him checked in, the father and son headed up the elevator to the Auror department where James worked. As they stepped through the doors, the female workers that noticed them mobbed them.

Harry basked in the attention for about 10 minutes, before growing tired of the laughter and baby talk coming his way. He tugged on James's shirt, signaling he wanted to go.

James took him to his tiny cubical and set Harry on the floor, with some blocks, and started filling out a report.

While filling out the report, James started spacing out, and as he sometimes did on slow workdays, he fell asleep his head resting on the desk.

He slumped over, putting his wand (which was in his back pocket) in perfect reach of Harry.

Harry always wanted to play with his daddy's wand, but was never allowed to.

For him this was the opportune moment to give it a wave and make magic just like Mommy and Daddy.

He grabbed it in his tiny fist, and waved it and muttered in baby language. A cookie appeared out of thin air. Mini Prongs jammed the cookie in his mouth, the way he learned from Sirius.

He jabbed the wand in James's direction, and his hair grew long and purple. Harry giggled. Magic was fun and easy.

Harry grew tired of playing in the cubicle, so he wandered off with the wand, waving it left right and center, even turning a secretary into a sheep.

The Auror office was in shambles by the time Harry left it, squeezing through the slightly open door.

He had used his magic to turn desks into slime, people into animals, conjured up parrots and owls. (all accidentally of course! He can't control the magic... he just plays)

The corridor outside the office was deserted, and Harry marched down it, his daddy's wand held up high in his pudgy hand.

He heard giggles coming from the behind a door, and then a small voice say "Shut up Ron! Do you want them to find us?"

Wand still held high, Harry opened the door to reveal three redheads.

Two looked exactly alike, but one was smaller and had more freckles.

They all grinned and one of the two older ones said "Hiya! I'm Fred. This-" he stopped and the other older one continued. "Is George. We're twins! Oh yea... and this is-" but he was cut off angrily but the youngest one.

"Me Won!" Harry grinned. He actually understood what Ron was saying... Fred and George used too many words.

"Hi! I'm Hawwy"

Ron pointed to Fred and George and said "Fwed and Geowge"

Harry now understood. "Ooo Hi!" He pointed that wand at George's head and his flaming red hair turned blue.

George was thrilled. "Cool!"

Fred, who is seemed had stolen his father's wand, pointed it at Harry, and Harry grew feathers, but molted a few seconds afterwards.

Laughing, the 4 boys toddled down the corridor, and went through another door, this time a men's bathroom. Fred pulled a bag out of his pockets filled with chocolate frogs. He passed one out to everyone and they watched it hop around.

After eating all of the chocolate, George pulled out a can of bubbles from his pocket, and he and his twin brother blew bubbles and made them dance around in midair with the help of Arthur's wand.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Auror's office, James awoke with a start. Mad Eye Moody, the head Auror was yelling at him.

"FALLING ASLEEP ON THE JOB? WHAT DO I ALWAYS TELL YOU? CONSTANT VILLIGANCE!"

He jumped up, and looked around frantically, noticing that his son was nowhere in the cubicle.

"Merlin! Harry!" he shouted, confusing Moody.

"Harry? Who the hell is Harry?" he barked, still peeved about one of his best aurors falling asleep on the job.

James ignored him, rushing out of his office in a panicked search for his son.

"HARRY!" he shouted as he searched. "HARRY POTTER!"

Harry was nowhere in the Auror department. A light bulb went off in his head, and he had the amazing idea of using a summoning charm to retrieve Harry. He reached into his back pocket, but as we know Harry has nicked his father's wand.

"Dammit!" he swore, and rushed into the hallway, thinking

_Lily is going to kill me! No worse she is going to make me ride an elephant AND then she'll kill me. _

* * *

While James was in his frenzied search, Lily was in Spain, eating Italian food with her two best friends Charlie (Charlotte) Condon and Mel (Melissa) Appleby. She was in a magnificent hotel in one of the most beautiful cities in Spain, Barcelona. But unlike her normal self on vacation (dragging James or her friends sightseeing all over) she was content to merely sit in her pajamas on top of her unmade bed eating. And it was 3 pm already.

"You know what, this is a lot of fun. We should have done this months ago!" She contently sighed.

Charlie was getting antsy; she hated sitting in one place for too long.

"C'mon guys, let's do something! We're in Spain for god's sake! Land of hott guys and shopping!"

Lily jumped up. "I dunno about cute guys but I'm all for shopping. Let's get dressed and get out there!"

* * *

Harry and the Weasley boys had long since left the bathroom, and strayed down the halls, into the elevator, up 7 floors, and right in front of the Department of Mysteries. 

Fred and George sat on the floor, keeping a wary eye out for adults, but Ron and Harry were amazed with the department itself, and wanted to go inside.

They pushed at the door, but with no avail. The door was just too heavy for two one year olds to open.

Ron had the brilliant idea of making a tower, him on the bottom and Harry standing on top of his crouched form to push the door open. Nothing.

They whipped out James's wand and waved it around a bit. Nada.

The pair even tried to pick Fred up and throw him into the door. "Too heawy Won!" Harry struggled. Ron was on one side of Fred, tugging at his arm, and Harry on the other pulling on his shirt.

They eventually gave up on that plan, and started pushing at the door again.

"Fwed! Geowge! Help!" Ron ordered.

The twins jumped up and pushed at he door. Zippo.

For another 5 minutes they pushed and pushed at the door, but it was too heavy for the tots to open it.

Fred and George soon grew restless and wanted to leave and explore, no matter how much Harry and Ron protested. In the end though, Harry and Ron followed because George used the wand to create sparks that intrigued the tots so much that they followed.

As they wandered around the hallways, they heard a "Ding!" which caught their attention. It was the elevator, and tons of people were getting off. During the bustle the boys slipped quite and undetected into the elevator and sat back for the ride.

* * *

James was still searching every nook and cranny on the second floor. He had already looked in the Wizengamot Administration and the Improper Use of Magic Office. The only place left was the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office.

He ran in there, praying that Harry was there and Lily would never find out about this whole Harry-getting-lost thing.

He searched every tiny cubicle there, finally ended up in the cubicle of the one and only Arthur Weasley. Arthur, like James a mere half hour ago was asleep.

Unsure of what to do, James prodded his shoulder and he awoke with a start. He was startled to see James in his office, especially a James with purple hair and started apologizing about being asleep.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, it's just Molly's pregnant again, and on bed rest so now it's up to me to watch all the kids. Fred and George kept me up all night. You DO know that your hair..."

James interrupted him. "It's fine... really. And my hair is normally really messy like this... its never been too tame. I just wanted to know if you happened to see my son Harry. He's got black hair, and green eyes and I believe he's wearing a red shirt and a pair of jeans." James told him.

Arthur racked his memory for a second "No, I haven't seen him- but maybe my boys have... brought the youngest with me to give Molly a break."

He started looking around for his kids, and when he didn't see them called out. "Fred! George! Ron!"

No answer.

James looked at Arthur and Arthur looked at James.

"MY KIDS ARE MISSING! MOLLY WILL KILL ME!"

James stopped him from bolting right out of the cubicle, and said, "Take out your wand and summon them. Could you summon Harry too? He nicked my wand."

Arthur calmed down a bit. "Yes, of course, my wand." He went to grab his wand from his pocket. "My wand... gone!"

And both men hurtled out of there screaming.

"Harry?"

"Fred, George?"

"RON!"

* * *

"Does this come in a smaller size?"

The saleswoman nodded and went off in search of a smaller size of a satin turquoise halter-top for Lily.

The three girls were in a store trying on matching halter-tops. Charlie was forced into a hot pink one by Mel and Lily. Charlie hated pink but it looked amazing on her. Even she was beginning to see how great she looked in it.

Mel was in black, the top identical to the ones Lily and Charlie had.

The woman came back with a smaller top, Lily thanked her and tried it on.

It fit perfectly.

"We'll take them!" They put some muggle money on the counter, grabbed their bags and headed out into the sunshine.

All at once, clumsy Charlie had hit into someone and was sprawled on the ground.

The man she hit into was already up. "So sorry," he apologized, and helped her to her feet.

Charlie looked like she was going to snap at him, that was until she looked at him. Then she just laughed and said "Quite alright!"

The man had dark hair, that was stylishly cut and even in the button up shirt he was wearing you could tell he was built.

She stuck out her hand and said "I'm Charlotte!"

Lily rolled her eyes. Charlie only ever introduced herself as Charlotte when she was in the presence of a super hott guy.

The man smiled and shook her hand, while saying "Charlotte, my pleasure. I'm Emilio." He turned to his left, where another rather hott guy stood. "This is my friend- Fernando."

Mel introduced herself, blushing when she shook Fernando's hand.

Lily rolled her eyes again. _This is the last thing I need. Both of them acting love sick and crazy!

* * *

_

Arthur wasbreathing heavilyas he waited for the elevator to reach their floor. James was ranting about how Lily was going to kill him, and if they didn't find the kids who knows who would? Apparently a crumple-horned snorcack.

Relieved, the elevator doors opened with a _ping! _They got in, and pressed the button for the third floor.

Harry, who saw his father enter, opened his mouth to call "Da da!" but George covered his mouth with his hand.

"Shhh..." he shushed them, as to not alert their dads to their location.

James and Arthur got off on the third floor, searched in, and came back in. They searched all the floors this way, getting more and more frantic as they searched.

Finally, they decided that they would have to go down to the courtrooms, where they elevators didn't run.

They left, and the 4 boys laughed. They had fooled their daddy's once again.

Getting tired of riding the elevator up and down, they got off again on the second floor.

Fred led the way into the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, right back to his dad's tiny cubicle.

Sitting down, the twins went back to playing with their action figures, while Ron, looking very tired, went over to the mats Arthur had spread on the floor for him to play on. He sat down, and got out two teddy bears.

Handing one to Harry, they both lay down, and within minutes were fast asleep.

* * *

Half an hour later, James and Arthur found their way back to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, resigned to the fact that they had indeed lost their kids.

"Let me just grab my stuff, and we can go and see if security found them. I can't believe we..." Arthur who was walking in the cubicle, but cut off mid-sentence.

There were both men's kids, safe and sound. Ron and Harry were even asleep.

James sighed. "Thank Merlin! Now Lily will never need to know!" He scooped up Harry, who woke up in his father's arms.

"Da da!" he cried, grabbing his father's glasses.

Fred shuffled up to James and handed him his wand.

"My wand!"

Fred looked guilty. "I didn't take it! Harry did, I was just holding it, because babies can't play with wands."

"Yea!" George piped up. "I mean look what magic did to your hair!"

James was confused. _What the devil is wrong with my hair? _

He conjured up a mirror, and to his horror, saw what was wrong with his hair.

"IT'S PURPLE! AND LONG! AHHH!" he screamed, but instead of scaring the kids, he made them giggle hysterically.

Arthur whipped out his arm hurriedly. "I'm so sorry I didn't mention it before! I was just a bit preoccupied, you know with the boys gone and everything!" He waved his wand and James' hair was back to normal.

James sighed. "Thanks Arthur!" He glanced at his watch. "I should probably take Harry home, he's had quite a day!"

Just as he made to leave, he stopped. "My wife Lily and I are throwing a first birthday party for Harry on Saturday, you guys should come. Bring all the kids, and give Molly some alone time. I would give you an invitation but I'm not sure where Lily put them- so I'm telling everyone by word of mouth."

Arthur grinned. "I'm sure the boys will love that! We'll see you Saturday then."

* * *

At home James went through the list of people who were invited to the party, and added the Weasley's at the bottom.

He would have to fire call them all. All one hundred people. Joy.

He sighed. "I better get started," he muttered to himself.

_Crack! _

"Talking to yourself Prongsie? That's the first sign of going crazy you know!" Sirius laughed, dancing around the kitchen.

James looked up at him. "It's my LAST sign of going crazy!" He told Sirius all about Harry's day at work.

Sirius was laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor. 'Harry's getting more and more like me everyday! Purple hair? A classic!"

He straightened up as soon as he noticed James's death glare. "I mean, it's so unfortunate that Harry has learned all these habits."

They both broke out into grins at the thought.

"I can watch Harry tomorrow if you want, I'm off anyway." Sirius offered.

Of course James agreed. "And could you do me a favor and fire call some of these people and tell them about the party? I'll do some of it tonight."

Sirius nodded. He was excited. He loved spending time with Harry. He was Sirius's favorite godchild. Granted, he was the only godchild.

James only called on the Longbottoms and Lily's parents, before falling asleep, right next to the fireplace, dreaming about purple hair, elevator rides, and Lily never finding out about that day.

* * *

**Ok, well there you have it! The ending isnt so good, but it's 9:58, and i need to go watch Monk. Sirius will be babysitting AND telling people about Harry's party... the only question is... can he handle both? **


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